Posts tagged ‘idiot’

Digg is full of vapid, listmongering idiots

This is an angry post written in uncov style. I may submit it over there if it’s sufficiently full of bile and vitriol.

Digg: the little news aggregator and home for moronic comments that could. I’m finally giving up on it, yet not for some presumed lack of Kevin Rose fanboy love. This particular train has fallen off the mountain and into a septic tank for people’s pet issues of the day. Issues generally include the legalization of pot, minor political scandals or community butthurt over restricted Ubuntu drivers.

All of these elements essentially distill YouTube with a focus on poor-ass headlines, misleading summaries, and a PageRank whoring link pointed to some Blogspot drivel that some high school kid thinks is hot crackers. Recently popular stories just parrot content produced by Gawker Media or Weblogs Inc. (an AOL production!) properties. As much as you may disagree with Denton’s practices, there’s a key difference: both of these companies pay people to write, and it’s certainly a different quality standard.

One of the best investments I’ve ever made with a half hour has been the Digg Stupidity Filter, which is basically an inbred regular expression that’s hosted on somebody else’s ~$13 per share server. Unfortunately, even this bastardized contraption is unable to cope with people that insist on pushing out “Top Three Hundred and Twelve+ Ways to Enable Beryl and Cry Yourself to Sleep” to the front page. Lists of absolutely stupid Firefox tweaks are the prime offenders here, but you might see similar content from Mashable!!!!omglolone authors. What ever happened to people reading informed reviews and opinions, instead of regurgitating bullet points? If I wanted that, I’d go sit through an executive slide deck - one created in PowerPoint and not Zoho Office.

The main problem I have with Digg is not the blind subservience to the brilliant economic policies of Ron Paul. It’s the encouragement of a brain-dead social networking community of conspiracy theorists, and the resulting mass media coverage only gives these halfwits some semblance of legitimacy. Deep down, every “power user” is really a 4chan bandwagoner whose love for cannabis knows no bounds. If you can’t be a real hacker, come to Digg where the next best thing is to be a script kiddie. You, too, can crack WEP with the assistance of Google Video.

Where were these idiots on the Internet before the advent of easily-accessible comment boxes? I mean, Geocities had its fair share of numptees back in the day, but I continue to be astonished at new lows of mouth-breathing twits. As the ease of vomiting into a <textarea> increases, it’s probably inevitable that we’ll see more and more loser-generated content. I just wish there was a production version of StupidFilter available that didn’t require tweaking makefiles. While I’m perfectly competent at compiling and running a C++ app, you won’t get major traction from the Rails evangelist crowd until you make a plugin.

Digg’s biggest problem, bar none, isn’t the roving masses of morons continuing to patronize its impeccably validated HTML. The Digg audience are dangerous because they’re just smart enough to use something like Firefox with AdBlock. They’re just trendy enough to try and run Linux, even if they don’t understand what the command GreyWizard54 posted actually does. So when you’re a Web2 company whose primary income is based on people clicking on ads, you can’t go with a conventional Microsoft package. The lucrative “text JOKE to 99999″ ads festooning the borders of MySpace won’t work either. Digg is the perfect target market for mail-order Russian brides; it’s just too bad nobody there will ever see your wares.

Block Facebook feed pushes by idiot applications

Whoever designed the “templatized feed push” action at Facebook for developers should be put on notice. My wall today is cluttered with ridiculously inane application pushes, and most of them link back to Slide or RockYou home pages - enabling them to track people’s referrers from the links. What’s worse in the matter is that there doesn’t seem to be any easy way to block them right from the feed.

Examples of these three-line messages:

  1. Someone got a new post on their FunWall.
  2. Someone scored higher than someone else on a quiz.
  3. Someone is “like” someone else.

To save you all from having the most inane actions being pushed to your wall, I’m collecting several direct links to block the most annoying and idiotic applications from finding out anything about you. Applications that you’ve already restricted or blocked can be found from this page. I’ll update this page every time I find a new offender.

Note that these apps may not all push updates to your wall, but I’m sure you’ll agree that most of them are annoying as hell. You’ll still have to minimize them on your “friends’” pages, unfortunately.

Application: Likeness
What It Really Does: In an astonishing circlejerk of vanity and nepotism, apparently you’re similar to someone else.
Company to Blame: RockYou
Block It: I’m like the Angry Pirate!

Application: Causes
What It Really Does: Armchair activism at its finest.
Company to Blame: Project Agape
Block It: I support not hearing about your crap!

Application: Glitter Text
What It Really Does: Cheapens the clean design of Facebook.
Company to Blame: The developer isn’t visible. Perhaps they’re embarrassed about their creation, or perhaps they got banned for turning the site into Bling City.
Block It: hAy GuYs ThIs Is CoOoOoL!!!!!!!!111lollerskates

Application: Top Friends
What It Really Does: Makes the site like MySpace.
Company to Blame: Slide
Block It: Tom is not my friend.

Application: SuperPoke!
What It Really Does: Lets you virtually bitch-slap people, along with many other ridiculous actions.
Company to Blame: Slide
Block It: Jake has dropkicked Slide.

Application: HOT or NOT
What It Really Does: Remember when you’d rate people on a 1-10 scale that wasn’t “number of beers to drink before sleeping with this person”?
Company to Blame: HOTorNOT.com
Block It: I’m hot ’cause I’m fly. You ain’t ’cause you not.

Application: Moods
What It Really Does: Brings LiveJournal to Facebook.
Company to Blame: Some jerks at Berkeley, apparently.
Block It: I’m just a kid, and my life is a nightmare / I’m just a kid, and I know that it’s not fair (guess the song for mad shame!)

Application: Nicknames
What It Really Does: Nickname your friends and bring inside jokes to more than just Group Officer titles!
Company to Blame: A few Brandeis alumni. Yeah, I had to look up what the hell Brandeis was, apparently it’s a college in Waltham, MA.
Block It: I bestow upon your the nickname of ‘Pank’.

Application: FunWall
What It Really Does: You’re one click away from having all those Flash and MP3 embeds blare out of your speakers. Also, YOOOOOOUUUUUUTUUUUUBEEEEE VIDEOZ OMG LOL!
Company to Blame: Those Slide bastards again.
Block It: There’s nothing “fun” about Goatse on your profile.


New update - November 9, 2007 @8:22PM (Updated this section: trying to correct the feed. Thanks Phil.)
Application: My Christmas Tree
Company to Blame: Two people from Singapore.
Block It: I’m the Grinch!


Update 17-04-2008: Since this post was published, these applications may have changed ownership or been repurposed. If you have a concern about your application or would like to request a re-review, please mail jake at jakebillo dot com.

Filtering based on YouTube collective idiocy

The hierarchy of Internet commenting continues to prove worthwhile and reinforce my point.

From Boy Genius Report, which pointed to DownloadSquad, which blogwhored back to the original source, StupidFilter will be an open source filter package for comments, based on YouTube stupidity:

Stupid comments

The solution we’re creating is simple: an open-source filter software that can detect rampant stupidity in written English. This will be accomplished with weighted Bayesian analysis and some rules-based processing, similar to spam detection engines. The primary challenge inherent in our task is that stupidity is not a binary distinction, but rather a matter of degree. To this end, we’re collecting a ranked corpus of stupid text, gleaned from user comments on public websites and ranked on a five-point scale.

The site also refers to Eternal September, which is the September that AOL users first accessed newsgroups and ruined the discussion boards for everyone else. I’m still not entirely sure where most non-technical newsgroups would fit inside the hierarchy.

In the meantime, the StupidFilter project has a random stupidity page, where you can view examples of YouTube comments. (Personally, I think all the ones I’ve seen have ranked too low - the project should have a 1-10 scale instead of a 1-5 to allow more of a granular level of stupidity.)

Also, check out their FAQ page, where I found this bit of hilarity for my morning, emphasis mine:

Keep in mind we grade stupidity on a scale of 1 to 5. Someone might get a 1 or 2 for a comment that used no punctuation, whereas a comment consisting of nothing but text message abbreviations with a dash of LOLLLLL thrown in for good measure would probably rate a solid 4 or 5. There is a certain amount of subjectivity, and our software is aware of that; scoring will be normalized to eliminate excessively generous or harsh estimations of stupidity.

The hierarchy of Internet commenting

I’ve made a few statements in the past - both in real life and online - about how certain Web sites seem to attract certain types of users and commenters. There’s a very clear relationship between the audience a site attracts and the comments contributed by users. One can clearly go from quality, interesting comments to spambots and txt-speak in a few clicks.

I may update this list as necessary, as new sites appear every day, but here’s my definitive Hierarchy of Internet Commenting. Rankings go from quality at the top to “I am dumber for having tried to read this” at the bottom.

  1. Popular Web standards or technical discussion sites, such as A List Apart or flagship sites in the 9rules network. Sometimes the comments can definitely stray into pretentious quibbling, but for the most part they’re insightful and offer decent advice to Web designers and developers:A List Apart Sample Comment
  2. Something Awful Forums: The content of discussion at SA may be highly ridiculous, but it’ll be written well and intelligently. There’s a reason that several industry insiders post there. A $10 registration fee acts as an initial gatekeeper, and a few ban-hammer wielding administrators take care of anyone foolish enough to use ‘lulz’ in a post or reply.
  3. Newsgroups: general discussion. Most newsgroups take a bad reputation because of the inherent community of trolls, but even the troll posts are generally well-written. People may be fairly snippy, as per below, but you’ll generally get the correct answer if you’re thick skinned.Newsgroup Sample Comment
  4. Slashdot. Posts without merit are taken care of by the moderation system, and the standard of written English is very high even though there’s no specific enforcement of it. There are some Internet memes present in most discussions, but these posts are likely lead to genuinely funny responses. Posters on Slashdot also have a significantly higher degree of technical knowledge than the average bear (or Internet user), so responses to questions are likely to receive a correct response in a shorter timespan.Comical or humorous posts - even the first one in a discussion - have likely already analyzed the situation and provided commentary on it:

    Slashdot sample comment

  5. General-interest blogs. Sites like Gizmodo, Engadget, Kotaku, Joystiq and all others owned by Gawker Media and Weblogs, Inc. have dedicated staff policing their comment fields. Unfortunately, there’s not much enforcement of post quality - simply that there’s no trolling and people tend to stay on topic. Additionally, it’s clear that certain topics attract people without the technical knowledge to respond properly. These people respond anyways, forking the discussion and causing needless debate, when a snappy “You’re an idiot and here’s why, with proof” response would curtail the issue. A certain amount of sarcasm is necessary, in my opinion, to separate the idiots from people who actually do know something.Engadget sample comments
  6. Facebook popular applications walls: This is where we start devolving into really horrible discussions of who is popular and who is clearly not. The picture alone should be sufficient to tell you that the quality of discussion definitely has gone down a bar:Facebook app comments
  7. Digg: I thought the site’s newly introduced ranking system would keep discussions a bit more technically involved.I thought wrong - apparently that damn “cheezburger” meme is still worth displaying:

    Digg comments

  8. YouTube comments are filled with the most ignorant, racist invective I’ve ever seen online. I found these attached to a “most popular” video on the front page of the site:YouTube comments
  9. And last but not least, any MySpace comments - simply because they’re 90% ads for “free” ringtones or profile tracking scripts. I’ll leave the image off this site here, but you know where to look for examples.

Have any other sites with good or horrible comments? Disagree with my ordering? Feel free to comment here, but please keep it at a Kotaku-or-above level.