Considering UWaterloo? Consider the following conversation.

As I’m exiting my economics lecture this evening, I had the misfortune to overhear a conversation between two students leaving ahead of me. I didn’t make any special attempt to listen until the conversation took an unmistakably horrible trainwreck. Keep in mind that this is an economics lecture, and not a computer science or math class – so don’t expect arts courses to be any better.

If you’re debating going to Waterloo and aren’t a total social misfit, beware that you may be forcibly subjected to the following style of ridiculous conversation, which I transcribed shortly after hearing it.

Student 1: “So, what are you going to do when you get home?”
Student 2: “Lock myself in my room for two hours and watch anime.”

I honestly have no words at this point. This seems too stereotypical of a situation to be accurate. After all, Waterloo definitely has a number of Japanophile students who enjoy the medium – but seriously, about the only more goonish thing you could say at this point was that you were into cartoon pornography. Oh, wait.


Student 2: “Yeah. HARDCORE anime.”

The above statement was made without any sarcastic tone, and deliberately emphasized the ‘hardcore’ nature of the material. Just in case you aren’t too sure,


Student 1: “Hardcore?”
Student 2: “Yeah, the hardcore stuff… you know.”
Student 1: “Ah.”

Far be it from me to judge a person’s kinks or fetishes – wait, who am I kidding? Japanese, cartoon porn is pretty low on the scale of Internet nerd stereotypes. How much lower can this guy get?


Student 2: “But I have to lock my door in case my roommates find out.”

Shame? And yet you’re announcing your disgusting taste in self-relief material to another friend? What gives?


Student 1: “Oh?”
Student 2: “They want me to watch it with them, because they already have the MKVs.”

Oh, christ.


Student 2: “But their MKVs are all in Japanese, and I don’t know Japanese at all. They were like, ‘Oh, that’s OK, we’ll translate it for you!'”

There’s absolutely no more possible disgusting mental image than that. And the Internet is pretty disturbing as is.


Student 2: “So I have to download the subbed versions sneakily, and lock myself in my room to watch them alone.”

Ladies, have I got a real winner for you!